Introduction
Anxiety was the theme of Mental Health Awareness Week in 2023, when this article was first written. It was a useful choice because anxiety is something almost everybody can recognise, but not always something we understand particularly well.
We use the word casually. We feel anxious about an interview, a journey, money, our health or a difficult conversation. Usually the feeling has a clear reason and begins to settle once the situation changes.
But anxiety can also become persistent, overwhelming or start shaping what somebody feels able to do. Understanding that difference can help us respond better, both to our own anxiety and to the people around us.
Anxiety is a normal human response
Anxiety is part of the way our bodies respond to uncertainty, threat and perceived danger.
If something feels risky, our bodies prepare us to respond. Our heart rate may increase, our breathing can change and we become more alert to what is happening around us.
That response can be useful. A little anxiety before an important event might help us prepare. Feeling nervous in an unfamiliar situation can make us pay attention.
The problem is not that anxiety exists.
The difficulty comes when the response becomes particularly strong, happens very frequently, continues when the immediate threat has passed or begins interfering with everyday life.
What can anxiety feel like?
Anxiety does not look the same for everyone.
Some people experience it mostly through worrying thoughts. Others notice the physical sensations first. Someone may appear perfectly calm to everybody around them while feeling intensely anxious inside.
Anxiety can affect your thoughts and feelings
You might find yourself:
- worrying repeatedly about what might happen
- expecting things to go wrong
- struggling to concentrate
- feeling tense or unable to relax
- becoming irritable
- feeling frightened without being sure why
- replaying conversations or decisions
- finding it difficult to switch your thoughts off
Anxiety can also make relatively small decisions feel much bigger. When your mind is already busy looking for possible problems, another choice can feel like one more thing that might go wrong.
Anxiety can feel very physical
Anxiety is not something that happens only in our thoughts.
It can involve a racing or more noticeable heartbeat, sweating, shaking, dizziness, headaches, nausea, breathlessness, muscle tension or changes in appetite.
Those sensations can themselves become frightening. Someone who notices their heart beating quickly may become worried that something is physically wrong, which creates more anxiety and makes the sensations stronger.
Physical symptoms should not automatically be assumed to be anxiety, particularly if they are new or concerning. A healthcare professional can help rule out other causes.
Anxiety can change what we do
Sometimes one of the clearest signs of anxiety is avoidance.
We start finding reasons not to attend something. We put off making a phone call. We stop going somewhere that made us anxious before. We check things repeatedly because we are worried about getting them wrong.
In the short term, avoiding something frightening can bring relief.
That relief can make avoidance very tempting the next time too.
Gradually, somebody can find their world becoming smaller as more situations feel difficult to approach.
What can cause anxiety?
There is rarely one universal answer.
Sometimes the cause is obvious. Money worries, bereavement, relationship difficulties, work pressures, ill health, caring responsibilities and significant life changes can all create understandable anxiety.
At other times, several smaller pressures have accumulated.
And sometimes somebody feels intensely anxious without being able to point to a single explanation.
Our experiences, circumstances, physical health and individual responses all play a part. Two people can face apparently similar situations and experience them very differently.
That is why “You’ve got nothing to worry about” is rarely a helpful response.
The person may understand perfectly well that you would not find the situation frightening. Their body and mind are still responding as though it is.
When does anxiety become a problem?
There is no simple line separating “normal” anxiety from anxiety that needs support.
A useful question is to look at the effect it is having.
Is anxiety stopping you doing things you want or need to do?
Is worry taking up a substantial amount of your day?
Are you regularly losing sleep?
Are you avoiding people, places or situations because of how anxious they make you feel?
Is anxiety affecting your work, relationships or ability to manage everyday tasks?
Are you finding it increasingly difficult to control?
If the answer to questions like these is yes, it is worth taking seriously.
You do not have to wait until anxiety becomes unbearable before asking for help.
Anxiety can take different forms
Anxiety is an umbrella term covering many different experiences.
For some people, worry spreads across many areas of life and is difficult to control. Others experience sudden panic attacks. Someone may become intensely anxious in social situations or develop a powerful fear associated with a particular object or situation.
Conditions such as obsessive-compulsive disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder can also involve significant anxiety, although they are distinct conditions rather than simply interchangeable forms of the same thing.
The labels can help professionals understand patterns and identify appropriate support, but you do not need to diagnose yourself or somebody else before taking anxiety seriously.
The more important starting point is recognising what is happening and how much it is affecting everyday life.
What can help with anxiety?
There isn’t one technique that works for everybody.
Often, managing anxiety involves understanding what contributes to it and finding a combination of approaches that makes things more manageable.
Talk about what is happening
Anxiety tends to become harder when we feel we have to manage it entirely on our own.
Talking to somebody you trust can help you put what is happening into words. They may not be able to solve the problem, but simply explaining it can make things feel less tangled.
If someone talks to you about their anxiety, you do not need to immediately produce advice.
Listening properly is useful in itself.
Look at what is actually creating the pressure
Not every anxious feeling needs to be managed through a relaxation technique.
Sometimes something in life needs attention.
If money worries are driving the anxiety, practical financial advice may be more useful than another breathing exercise. If work has become overwhelming, looking at workload or speaking to a manager may matter. If a relationship or situation is repeatedly causing distress, that deserves attention too.
Looking after our mental health is not always about becoming better at tolerating difficult circumstances.
Sometimes circumstances can change.
Physical activity can help
Movement can be helpful for stress and anxiety, whether that means structured exercise, gardening, cycling or simply going for a walk.
It does not need to be strenuous or impressive.
For someone who has been sitting inside with thoughts becoming increasingly busy, changing surroundings and moving for a short while may be enough to interrupt the pattern.
Notice what happens with caffeine, alcohol and sleep
When anxiety is already high, things that affect our bodies can sometimes make the physical sensations harder to manage.
Large amounts of caffeine may make some people feel more jittery or alert. Alcohol can initially feel relaxing but may contribute to poorer sleep and increased anxiety afterwards.
Poor sleep can also make worries feel considerably harder to manage.
This isn’t about creating a perfect lifestyle. It is about noticing whether there are patterns in your own experience.
Breathing and relaxation can be useful
When anxiety has pushed the body into a heightened state, deliberately slowing things down can help.
Some people find breathing exercises, meditation, grounding techniques or progressive muscle relaxation useful.
Others don’t particularly enjoy them.
The fact that a technique is commonly recommended does not mean it has to work for you. Try things and notice what actually helps rather than turning anxiety management into another set of rules to follow.
Time outside can provide a change of pace
Getting outside can combine several useful things: movement, daylight, a change of surroundings and a break from whatever has been demanding our attention.
You do not need to find a dramatic wilderness.
A park, garden, beach, local path or ten-minute walk around the block can be enough to change the rhythm of the moment.
Again, it is one useful option rather than a treatment that everybody should expect to work.
How can you support someone who is anxious?
You do not need specialist language to start a supportive conversation.
You also don’t need to know exactly which kind of anxiety somebody is experiencing.
Listen to what they are telling you. Try not to minimise what they are feeling simply because the source of the anxiety seems manageable from your perspective.
Instead of saying:
“Don’t worry about it.”
You might ask:
“What’s worrying you most about it?”
or:
“Is there anything that would make this feel a bit more manageable?”
Those questions give the person somewhere to go with the conversation.
Don’t rush to fix everything
It can be difficult to hear that somebody we care about is struggling without immediately producing solutions.
But advice given too quickly can sometimes feel as though we haven’t really listened.
Find out what they need first.
They may want practical help. They may want support accessing professional advice. They may simply need somebody to sit with them while they talk through what is happening.
Know the limits of your role
Supporting somebody does not mean becoming responsible for their mental health.
Friends, relatives, colleagues and managers can listen, encourage, offer practical help and help someone find appropriate support.
They are not expected to diagnose or treat an anxiety disorder.
Knowing those boundaries protects both people.
When should you seek professional support?
If anxiety is persistent, difficult to control or beginning to interfere with everyday life, speak to your GP or another appropriate healthcare professional.
Professional support can help someone understand what is happening and consider suitable treatment or other forms of support.
There is no particular level of suffering you have to reach before you are “allowed” to ask.
If anxiety is making life harder, that is reason enough to have the conversation.
Awareness should lead to something useful
Mental Health Awareness Week creates an opportunity to talk about subjects that may otherwise remain hidden.
But awareness on its own only gets us so far.
Knowing that anxiety exists is not enough if somebody still feels unable to mention it at work. Recognising the symptoms is of limited value if we do not know how to respond when a friend tells us they are struggling. Sharing a mental health message for a week does not automatically create a supportive workplace or community.
The more useful goal is confidence.
Confidence to notice when something is changing.
Confidence to ask somebody how they are.
Confidence to listen without feeling responsible for fixing everything.
And confidence to know when further help is needed.
We can make anxiety easier to talk about
Anxiety is common, but common does not mean trivial.
For some people it is an occasional and manageable response to a difficult situation. For others it can become persistent, exhausting and profoundly disruptive.
Understanding that range helps us move away from both extremes: treating every anxious feeling as a disorder, or dismissing serious anxiety as ordinary worry.
We don’t need to turn every conversation into a clinical one.
We need to make it easier for people to say when things are becoming difficult, easier for those around them to listen, and clearer where appropriate support can be found.
That is a useful form of awareness, whether it happens during Mental Health Awareness Week or on any other week of the year.
